When you look around for an adult, and realize you are the adult

So, I’ve been working at Sherman Elementary School since September and it pretty much consumes my life. I wake up at 7am, leave the house by 7:40 to make my train at 7:55, so that I can be at work by 9am. Then it’s 8 hours of running after kids before I finally make my way home around 6:30 (or later) every night. And then I usually have to work on some things when I get home. It’s not an exaggeration when I say that over half of my day is devoted to my work at Sherman. I love what I’m doing, though, and honestly can’t think of anything that would bring me more satisfaction. I know there are things that I’d be good at and enjoy, and I’m sure I’ll get around to some of those things eventually, but I think I’ll always end up putting myself in a position to positively direct change in the lives of children. It’s what I was meant to do, if any of us are meant to do anything.

My official title at Sherman is “Recreation Specialist”. Basically, I run recess. Some might think that I’m just a glorified monitor, but my job involves a lot more than that. While I do my fair share of recess, as I’m present at every single recess, the real reason I was hired was to develop systems for recess. I’ve been brought into revamp their current systems and change the ones that aren’t working, as well as bringing in completely new ideas. It’s definitely overwhelming at time. How does one bring order to a yard full of children no older than eleven desperately needing to let off some steam? That’s the answer I’m still trying to figure out. But I’m making headway and that’s progress.

Another Job Update!

I got a job, a real job! I’m working as an activities and recess coordinator at an elementary school in San Francisco. I also will be TAing for their after school program! I started work on Monday and I’ve got to tell you I’m absolutely exhausted, but I really enjoy the work.

JOB SEARCH UPDATE

So, after tirelessly looking for a job all summer, I finally landed a position at Menchie’s Frozen Yogurt around the corner from where I used to live/still kind of live now. And I’ll be working evenings which gives me the day for interviews! Woo! 

Now all I have to find is a place to live…

Just a little something I’ve been working on lately. I think they’d be adorable on a head band.

Just a little something I’ve been working on lately. I think they’d be adorable on a head band.

This accurately represents my life in its current state.
I saved this as a draft before I graduated and it’s just been sitting here gathering dust. I thought about just deleting it since it was so past the point of relevance, but I thought better about it and realized I still had something to say.
Only a few months ago, I thought I was done with school. I was so burnt out and just wanted to do something productive and real. But I’ve had a summer of the “real” world and I’m not caring for it so much. I’ve applied for so many jobs I’ve lost count and I’ve spent so much money just getting to shitty interviews. I only have $200 left in my bank account. My housing contract ends today and I have no other living arrangements. No money for rent makes that kind of difficult. It’s a tough place to be in. And it really sucks to have two degrees under your belt and no one else that gives a damn enough to offer you a job.
I just want this phase of my life to be done already. I want to have a job, I want to go back to school, and I want to start my life. 

This accurately represents my life in its current state.


I saved this as a draft before I graduated and it’s just been sitting here gathering dust. I thought about just deleting it since it was so past the point of relevance, but I thought better about it and realized I still had something to say.

Only a few months ago, I thought I was done with school. I was so burnt out and just wanted to do something productive and real. But I’ve had a summer of the “real” world and I’m not caring for it so much. I’ve applied for so many jobs I’ve lost count and I’ve spent so much money just getting to shitty interviews. I only have $200 left in my bank account. My housing contract ends today and I have no other living arrangements. No money for rent makes that kind of difficult. It’s a tough place to be in. And it really sucks to have two degrees under your belt and no one else that gives a damn enough to offer you a job.

I just want this phase of my life to be done already. I want to have a job, I want to go back to school, and I want to start my life. 

(via tumblespot)

I did matching makeup for myself and my partner for the Y2K party at Cloyne. Pretty happy with the way it all turned out.

Makeup

Most people that know me know that I have a love affair with makeup, particularly costume makeup. My favorite part of going to parties is getting ready for them. So, in this time between jobs and inability to afford going anywhere not in my immediate vicinity, I spend a lot of time getting ready for co-op parties. Here are some of my more recent makeup endeavors:

10,000 Leagues Under CZ — Fishy makeup

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Pride — obviously rainbow inspired

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The Dave — I was going for smoky/burnt/charred makeup to go with my fuzzy flame hat and dragon fire pants

Y2K — Circuit inspired to signify the fear of a ‘99/’00 electronic crash

What Post-Graduation is Like

So, before I graduated, I interviewed with a family twice and was pretty confident that I had landed a summer job as a nanny for two kids. A week after graduation, the family called to tell me that that wasn’t the case. This meant scrambling to find a new job. Something I have still been unable to do. I have just about gone through my entire savings and only have $200 to my name. 

This is what’s supposed to happen, right? The struggle and constant threat of being homeless before the payoff. Right, guys? Right?

I still like to think I’m on a big adventure, and this is just the stretch that really sucks. It’s testing my endurance and resolve. My will to keep going. I have to keep going. I don’t really have any other choice. It’s a scary place to be, but my mom keeps telling me I’ll get through it. I’m trying to believe her. It’s hard to keep your head up when you’ve spent 16 years in school being told that a job waits at the end of the tunnel only to find that no one wants you. To realize you might not have done enough despite the two degrees and work experience.

I’ve pretty much done it alone up until now. I have the support of my parents, but neither of them went to college. Neither of them knows how this is supposed to work. My dad’s been in the military for the last twenty years. He hasn’t had to worry about job security. My mom’s been at home with me and my siblings for 15 years. And neither one of them can afford for me to lean on them. Aside from the fifty bucks I get in my account when my mom starts worrying about me too much to not put money in my account, I’m pretty much doing this on my own. 

I’m not sure how this will all turn out, but I do know that my contract for my current housing ends in two weeks and I don’t have a job to get another place. I do know that come November, I have to start paying back the $15,000 in student loans that I had to take out (not bad considering the cost of tuition and living expenses totals about $32,000/yr and I spent four years in Berkeley). 

So, I haven’t had a lot of fun adventures lately. My time mostly consists of going to interviews, watching Angel and Buffy reruns, and going to co-op parties on the weekends. This is all I can afford to do, and I can barely afford getting to the interviews lately. 

10,000 Leagues Under CZ

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Our house has a party every Saturday and this was my costume. I was a fish…and I think I did a pretty good job. The glitter really sold it. 

I’m a huge fan of Ru Paul’s Drag Race and three of the contestants came and performed at Pride. They’re in a group called DWV (Detox, Willam, and Vicky Vox). They sing parodies of popular songs and sang Boy is a Bottom on the main stage. 

Pride Parade

SF PRIDE!!!

So, Pride happened right after California overturned the legislation barring marriage equality. I thought it would be absolute craziness, but it was actually fairly tame. At least tamer than what I expected. I think it was because a victory had been won, however small, and there was a kind of peace among the pride-goers. I had fun, but I think I had more fun at Bay to Breakers.